Friday 25 March 2011

Don’t worry about all that tricky car maintenance stuff, insist RAC shareholders


After a survey found that four million Britons don’t even know how to open their car bonnets, RAC shareholders insisted there is no need to bother your pretty little heads about such things.

The survey also found that only one in eight could check tyres, top up water and oil or change a bulb, leading to delighted RAC shareholders claiming the situation is just perfect as it is thank you very much.

Shareholder Dave Michaels said, “In the overall scheme of things, is knowing how to check the oil on your car really that important when you can give someone like us a couple of hundred quid so you don’t have to worry about it?”

“I would suggest you have much more important things to worry about than saving a couple of quid on understanding the basics of keeping your car road safe.”

Brits don’t understand cars

In what is seen as a compromise, senior RAC officials said they would be happy to teach people how to stop warning signs of a dangerous car, as long as everyone promises to call them first when something goes wrong.

“We’re not against sharing the knowledge we’ve acquired over the years, but if people knew the basics of car maintenance the majority of our business would disappear overnight.”

“There’s a very good reason our repair men are so condescending, it’s because you’re all idiots.  But thankfully you’re idiots with ongoing direct debit payments, so thanks for that.”

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