Wednesday 23 March 2011 by Spacey

Concern for Sainsbury’s as shoppers stop doing what they’re told


The UK’s third-biggest supermarket group, Sainsbury’s has revealed its share price fell by 6% as a result of shoppers not buying as much food as they were supposed too.

Chief executive Justin King revealed that he was at a loss to explain why people weren’t consuming the quantities of produce that is expected of them.

“I don’t get it,” he admitted. “I’ve noticed an increase in people checking the price of things, but I can’t put my finger on why they would do that. It’s totally bizarre.”

Analysts are hopeful that George Osborne’s budget that will give 25 million people an extra £45 to play with, will see people throwing food items into their trolleys with gay abandon.

Sainsbury’s share price falling

“The £45 tax break equates to 12.5p a day,” revealed one financial expert.

“Which is the equivalent of 4 slices of medium sliced bread. So I’m sure you’ll agree that that’s great news for sandwich lovers!”

Rivals Tesco and Morrisons also saw their shares fall, by 2.4% and 2.17%.

“What the shitting hell is going on?!” asked a Tesco spokesperson.

“People have started writing lists that tell them what to buy! That’s what we employ celebrities to do! Please stop using lists!”

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