Tuesday 22 March 2011

20th Century Fox secures movie rights to Supermoon


Movie studio 20th Century Fox has secured the rights to Supermoon, after millions of morons spent the weekend looking at Earth’s lunar satellite which appeared a tiny bit bigger than normal.

The movie will be produced by Michael Bay, though executives are insisting it will retain it’s authentic ‘based on a true story’ feel.

Marcus Goldberg told us,  “Yes it’s based on a true story, and when I say ‘based’, I mean that in the movie it will still be called Supermoon, and one of the characters will be a moon – but the rest of it we’ll be making up with the aid of entirely unnecessary CGI.

“You know, stuff like how it affects geological activity on the earth, floods, earthquakes that sort of thing. Yeah, we’ll be making all that up for entertainment purposes.  People love that shit.

“There will also be a really hot female protagonist, I give you my personal guarantee on that.”

Supermoon the movie

Movie fans have expressed little enthusiasm for the project, insisting that the apogee of the elliptical orbit of a rock in the sky is not the most interesting premise for a cinematic spectacular.

Basingstoke resident Simon Williams told us, “It sounds a bit dull to me.  Like Professor Brian Cox should be talking about it whilst assuming I’m a simpleton.

“Anyway, are we now saying that something which appears 30% bigger automatically gets the prefix ‘Super’?

“Well, my waistline is 30% bigger than when I met my missus, and let me tell you she thinks it’s as far from Super as it’s possible to get.”

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