Monday 21 March 2011 by Spacey

TABLOIDS STEP UP USE OF CAPS LOCK AS UK FORCES ATTACK LIBYA!!


Following military strikes by coalition forces on Libya over the weekend, tabloid newspapers have increased their use of capital letters and exclamation marks to help people who so far haven’t grasped the seriousness of the situation.

Newsagents across our great nation have been full to the brim of open-mouthed morons trying to absorb the magnitude of events in Libya.

“Bloody Hellfire!” exclaimed one news-hungry Brit. “It’s amazing how the excessive use of capital letters and exclamation marks can really bring home the severity of the situation in a way that actual footage can’t.”

“Nothing makes me appreciate the gravity of a situation like being shouted at.”

TV news channels have also seen a huge increase in the use of any former member of the armed forces willing to offer an opinion on what may or may not be happening.

“Rest assured our boys will give it their best!” Former EastEnders soldier Ross Kemp told BBC News 24.

Libya bombing coverage

SKY News have provided viewers with advice on how best to cope with the violence associated with military conflicts.

“Get the biggest TV possible, hook it up to a cinema surround sound system, and contact us for our excellent High Definition upgrade deals!” Shouted an excited spokesperson.

Amongst the weekends headlines, The Daily Star’s front page that screamed ‘IT’S WAR!’ was particularly striking, but upon closer inspection it just turned out to be another story about the ongoing conflict between Jordan and Alex Reid.

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