Tuesday 15 March 2011 by Spacey

Olympic marathon organisers admit defeat in trying to charge for pavement space


As tickets for the 2012 Olympic games went on sale it was revealed that organisers have admitted defeat in their attempts to find a way of charging people to stand on the pavement along the marathon route.

Organisers are confident that that the opportunity to stand on the pavement next to a road in one of the world’s most famous cities at no cost whatsoever will be sure to capture the public’s imagination.

“London’s pavements are the envy of the world,” claimed an Olympic committee spokesperson.

“To see them close up and to actually stand on them at no charge is sure to get even the most ardent Olympic skeptic interested.”

Members of the public, who are eager to be part of the games, have spoken excitedly about the prospect of standing next to a road in the capital city to briefly watch some dangerously skinny people run by.

“I really want the kids to live the Olympic Games experience,” said 37 year old Michael North.

“Standing on a pavement for hours with the added excitement of heightened security due to an increased risk of a terrorist attack is sure to be something they’ll be able to tell their grandchildren about.”

London Olympic Marathon route

Organisers have also revealed that breathing inside the Olympic Stadium will be free, but were keen to point out there would be an additional charge for people wishing to talk or point, with a sliding scale of charges depending on your accent and social status.

One administrator told us, “This event will be broadcast around the world, so we don’t want to run the risk of the media from other countries talking to anyone who may damage the UK’s global reputation.”

“As such northerners will be charged £50 a word and Boris Johnson will be bound and gagged,” revealed London 2012 chairman Lord Coe.

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