Monday 14 March 2011

We’ll sign as many non-binding voluntary pledges as you like, says Alcohol industry


As health groups rejected the government’s unenforceable ‘responsibility’ deal on alcohol advertising, the alcohol industry has repeated that it’s happy to sign as many non-binding pointless documents as the government wants them to.

Organisations such as Alcohol Concern and The British Liver Trust had been asked to unite with the government in asking the drinks industry to advertise a bit more responsibly ‘if it doesn’t mind too much, but no, this isn’t an order it’s more of a polite request which you are perfectly entitled to ignore completely’.

However, they felt that asking nicely probably isn’t enough to stop people doing something which is making them millions and millions of pounds every single year.

A spokesperson for Alcohol Concern said, “I tested this policy by asking my teenage son to sign a pledge to keep his room nice and tidy, but I made it clear there would be absolutely no repercussions if he ignored my polite request and continued to keep it like a shit tip.”

“I think you can probably guess how many wank socks are currently lying around in there.”

No ‘responsibility’ deal on Alcohol advertising

The drinks industry have responded by saying that they think it’s a great idea, and they’ll be happy to sign as many of these pledge things as the government can think up.

An industry insider told us, “A pledge that we don’t have to sign, but even if we do it isn’t legally binding in any way shape or form?  Of course we’ll sign it. Just cover the cost of our ink and we’ll sign millions of them.”

“Completely unenforceable voluntary rules are our favourite kind of industry regulation, actually.”

“Now, look at this picture of a sexy person enjoying booze.  Wouldn’t you like to be just like them?”

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