Wednesday 9 March 2011 by Formelia Alberthine

Arsenal turn attentions to domestic failure


Following their Champions League exit at the hands of Barcelona, Arsenal are set to turn their attention to the domestic failure that has seen them remain trophy-less for six years.

Manager Arsene Wenger watched his team’s most glamorous route to disappointment pulled from their grasp during their 3-1 defeat at the Camp Nou, ensuring fans will have to rely on domestic failure for the rest of the season.

“Losing in the Champions League final is the dream of every Arsenal fan,” said Wenger after the game.

“But now we will have to focus on our mission to lose every domestic competition in order to make up for tonight’s slightly premature disappointment.”

“I am sure our fans are distraught, but myself and the players will be working hard until the end of the season to bring them the thrill of falling at the final hurdle yet again.”

“Hopefully we can take the league challenge all the way to the final game before we capitulate, and there’s still the FA Cup to lose.”

Arsenal Champions League exit

Swiss referee Massimo Bussaca has come in for significant criticism for making normal people have a small degree of sympathy for Arsenal following his ridiculous decision to send off Robin Van Persie.

Football fan Mike Davies told us, “It was a shocking refereeing performance. Bad decisions I can handle, but how can you respect anyone who makes you feel even the tiniest bit sorry for Arsene Wenger?”

“Sure, he chose to focus on a bad ref rather than the fact that his side were comprehensively outplayed and didn’t muster a single shot on target, but still, he was, you know – and I can’t believe I’m actually saying this – right.”

“We might criticise referees in this country, but whatever decisions they make during a game you can still safely assume that during his post-match interview everything coming out of Arsene Wenger’s mouth will be wrong.”

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