Thursday 3 March 2011

Murdoch agrees to get rid of thing that loses money for thing that makes money


Rupert Mudoch is today pretending to be upset that the government has made him agree to get rid of loss-making Sky News in order to take complete ownership of profit-making BSkyB.

A stipulation of his BskyB take-over was that he could no longer retain ownership of his expensive propaganda production entity, Sky News.

Upon announcement of the news Murdoch himself told reporters, “Oh no, woe is me. I simply can not believe how powerful your government is.”

“They said I had to get rid of this loss-making bit of my business before I buy this bit that makes lots of money.  It’s just so unfair!”

“I’ve been really screwed over here, so you should all be very, very impressed with people like David Cameron because he is so good at his job that he can easily make me do things I don’t want to do.  Oh yes.”

Murdoch BSkyB take-over approved

Though already facing criticism for allowing the take-over to proceed, Whitehall insiders are insisting that Murdoch has paid a suitable price to take over BSkyB.

A government source said, “We felt the only way of making this take-over fair, was to ensure he had to get rid of a bit of his company that was losing money.”

“We hit him where it hurts, in the pocket.  By filling them way beyond the point of comfort.”

Murdoch also revealed that once BSkyB is his, he will move ahead with his controversial plan to complete his takeover of Culture secretary Jeremy Hunt.

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