Thursday 3 March 2011

Irish cricket team given day off from the Magners apple farm


Ireland’s victorious cricket team have been given the day off from nonchalantly plucking apples from the air at the Clonmel Magners apple farm in recognition of their World Cup victory over England.

The Irish win by three wickets was met by the sizeable yawns of the Irish players, who had been bored of standing around all day when they could have been back in Clonmel making vastly over-priced cider products.

“Sure, it’s nice to win a little game of cricket, but I’d rather be back home catching apples,” said Irish team captain Will Porterfield.

“I even got myself out first ball as I was in the middle of a really good book, but Kevin O’Brien seemed to think it would be nice to stay in the tournament a bit longer.”

“We told him in the changing room that this means we’ll be away from the orchard even longer and now he’s absolutely of distraught.  He can’t stop apologising.”

Ireland beat England

A spokesperson from the Irish Cricket Association spoke of his surprise at the media interest in his side’s victory.

“I don’t see what all the fuss is about? What did people expect? I bet Andrew Strauss couldn’t catch an apple if you threw it at him under arm from three feet away.”

England fan Mike Williams told us, “It’s been coming I suppose. The television-owning cricketing world has seen what the Irish team are capable of, and they were obviously going to give someone a hiding when they could be bothered to do so.”

England team manager Andy Flower said, “I’m sure there’s something in the rules about teams of professional cider apple farmers taking part.  There isn’t? Well, there should be.”

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