The European Court has ruled that women living longer and driving more carefully than men is a form of sex discrimination which should be banned immediately.
Current rules mean that insurers base the cost of life assurance on a number of different factors, but one thing that plays a significant role is the fact that women live longer than men and as such are less of a risk.
A spokesperson for the Insurance industry told us, “If the European Court of Justice finds that charging women less is unfair then women will be required to die younger, rather than men live longer.”
“I mean, did people genuinely believe that we would now start making it cheaper for the men? Haha!”
“Yes, if equality is what they want, then equally high premiums is what they’ll get – and to think some people say Europe does nothing but hinder UK businesses.”
Insurance premium gender ruling
Statistics have also shown that young women are less likely than young men to drive like complete and utter pricks hellbent on reaching their destination in the quickest and most dangerous way imaginable.
“It’s completely unfair,” blasted 18 year Nick Lane, who faces a cost of £3400 for his car insurance, double that of his twin sister Emma.
“If her premiums suddenly became twice what she’s currently paying just because of the vagina that makes her drive more slowly, then that would certainly go some way to evening things up a bit. Definitely.”
“Also insurance companies would be making a lot more money, so, erm, everyone’s happy.”