Monday 28 February 2011 by Spacey

Shock as gay man revealed to be better at sport than you


The world of sport has been turned upside down after it was revealed that England wicketkeeper Steven Davies has been playing professional cricket at the highest possible level, despite being a homosexual.

It had previously been thought gay men were incapable of being better than you at any sport because they throw like girls and, much like women, view sport as just a silly game.

“If you’d told me a couple of years ago that gay men could be as good at sport as straight men like me then I’d probably have reacted angrily and waged some sort of bullying campaign against you – but now I guess I’ll have to think again,” revealed one sports fan.

Another told us, “Are you absolutely sure he’s gay? Maybe he’s just a bit confused.  I saw his 87 against Pakistan in the 2009 one-day series and there’s absolutely no way those ground strokes came from a friend of Dorothy.”

Cricketer Steven Davies comes out

Scientists have revealed that previous studies showing how gay men have less Sportogens in their blood stream than heterosexual men will now come under intense scrutiny.

One researcher said, “We will look at the previous work carried out by other scientific organisations, because this news is in danger of completely rewriting the book on how significant a person’s sexuality is in their ability to excel at sports.”

The revelation is also likely to spark debate outside the scientific community, with equal rights organisations insisting sexuality is completely irrelevant in the field of sports.

“We don’t believe a person’s sexual preference has any bearing at all on their ability to perform at the highest level, but we do remain confident that there are no heterosexuals currently playing women’s rugby” concluded a spokesosexual.

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