Wednesday 23 February 2011

Jacqui Smith still pretending she knows nothing about pornography


Jacqui Smith has made a documentary for BBC Radio 5 in which she continues the elaborate ruse of pretending she knows nothing at all about pornography.

The documentary involved Smith going round asking questions of people involved in the porn industry, even though she definitely already knows all of the answers.

“I began by asking ‘what is porn?'” said the former Home Secretary, “I really had no idea. Was it a bit like Chess?”

“In the course of making the documentary I’ve watched quite a bit porn, for research purposes, obviously.  My husband and I had a few quiet nights in making notes and stuff.”

“I took a few samples of the really debauched stuff home, but unfortunately I misplaced them somehow. I’ve no idea where they’ve gone now. My husband thinks the cleaner stole it.”

“I still don’t know why people like it, no idea at all. I don’t know the first thing about the ‘Cleveland Steamer’ or the ‘Philadelphia Peapod’. I probably need to do some more licence fee-funded research, don’t you think?”

Jacqui Smith porn documentary

The documentary sees the  start of a series in which politicians, both current and former, will make programmes about things they claim to have no understanding of.

A BBC Radio 5 spokesperson said, “We’ve got some exciting programmes coming up with more MPs pretending not to know about stuff, definitely.”

“Next week will see George Osborne investigating macro-economic theory, before John Major takes a closer look at Edwina Currie’s vagina.”

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