Wednesday 23 February 2011 by Gary Stanton

Ancient dinosaur is direct link to Tina Turner, claim scientists


Brontomerus Thunder Thighs Dinosaur

Scientists believe they have unearthed the direct genetic ancestor of singer Tina Turner, following the discovery of an ancient dinosaur with massive “thunder” thighs and a black eye.

Paleontologists working in an area of sedimentary rocks in an outer suburb of the city of Nutbush, population 259, have dubbed the creature Tinasaurus Rex and claim its powerful femur bone would have allowed the creature to walk upright and perform live to an audience of thirty thousand at the NEC.

The new species, described in the journal Acta Palaeontologica Polonica, is a sauropod – the family of dinosaurs famous for their long necks, black leather mini-skirts and strong vocal performances.

Two perfectly preserved specimens – a male and a female – were found lying next to each other next to a deep river and a high mountain, the male still with its fist clenched suggesting it was prone to lash out if its dinner wasn’t ready on time.

Carbon-dating of the surrounding rocks suggests that the pair must have survived the asteroid impact around 65 million years ago that wiped out many other dinosaurs, but that they eventually succumbed to poor album reviews.

New Dinosaur discovered

The area has provided a fruitful source of fossilised remains in the past but scientists say the new discovery is simply the best, better in fact, than all the rest.

As yet, very little is known about its breeding habits and courtship rituals but analysis of the female’s foot region reveals it performed dances in order to attract the male, though any such displays would have been conducted in private with no money changing hands.

Dirk Wallbecker, of the US Jurassic Institute, said, “It’s possible that these creatures were fiercely loyal, although it’s unlikely they loved each other in the modern sense.”

“Indeed as far as they are concerned, and as a scientist, one must really ask what’s love got to do with it? What’s love but a second-hand emotion? ”

“Oh oh oh.”

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