Friday 18 February 2011 by Spacey

We’ll only sell you more tear gas if you promise not to use it, Foreign Office tells Bahrain


The Foreign office has warned Bahrain that it will seriously reconsider selling them tear gas and other riot control equipment if they insist on actually using it.

The Foreign office has confirmed that 250 cartridges of tear gas along with other equipment had been licensed for export within the past nine months.

However, a spokesperson was quick to point out that it was never their intention to see these cartridges used by the Bahrain government for the purpose to drawing tears among people it disagrees with.

“We want to make it perfectly clear to any country that we sell arms to that they must never ever use them, under any circumstances whatsoever.”

“I really can’t stress this enough – if the price is right we’ll sell you all manner of ‘people control’ devices, concoctions and apparatus, but if you actually go ahead and use them for the purpose for which they were designed, then we’ll have to make it look like we’re thinking for a little bit before selling you some more.”

“Unless you make us a pinky promise, which is enough of a guarantee. Well, that and an embarrassingly large cheque. That helps too.”

Bahrain arms sales

The violence in Bahrain, along with the deaths of at least four civilians has prompted an urgent government review of who exactly we are happy to sell hi-tech instruments of death.

The Foreign Office spokesperson continued, “When you sell someone a gun, you can’t assume they’re going to shoot people with it, can you?”

“We sold these things to the Bahrain authorities in good faith, safe in the knowledge that no-one would ever be harmed by the stuff we provided.”

“Why should we ever have thought otherwise?”

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