Friday 18 February 2011

Vote for thing that will give us more coalitions you didn’t vote for, pleads Clegg


Deputy Prime Minister Nick Clegg this morning began his campaign for the Alternative Voting system, insisting that it will guarantee us more coalition governments that nobody actually voted for.

Clegg is insisting that a system where you can name your second choice when a candidate doesn’t reach 50% of the vote will vastly increase the seats held by the nation’s third party, and almost entirely eliminate the prospect of a majority government at any point in the future.

“AV is about giving fairer representation in parliament that more accurately reflects the nation’s voting intentions,” began Clegg.

“Especially when it leads to a government that absolutely nobody voted for.  That’s democracy in action, right there.”

“After all, what better government is there than one that not a single person voted for.  We can see plenty of evidence for that in the Middle East right now.”

Alternative Voting Systems

A referendum will be hold on the proposals on May 5th, and Clegg is hoping it will change the British political landscape forever – much like one of those massive wind-farms, or landfill site.

Clegg continued, “Elections are about promises, promises that you simply don’t have to keep when you ultimately find yourself in a coalition government.”

“So political campaigning will be infinitely more interesting. Never again will a party be held accountable to an election promise, simply because they can point out that coalitions involve ‘compromise’.”

“It’s like the world’s biggest get out of jail free card. So yes, we want more of that please.”

Meanwhile David Cameron is making the exact opposite case, with an argument which essentially asks, “Please don’t make me work with Nick Clegg ever again.”

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