Thursday 17 February 2011

Arsenal fans on verge of becoming insufferable


Arsenal fans basking in the glow of a Champions League victory against Barcelona are said to be on the verge of attaining levels of smugness not seen since their team went the 2003-04 season undefeated.

A 2-1 win against the team recognised by many as the best in the world has elevated supporters to levels of football snobbery not seen in the Highbury area of London for nearly seven years.

Football fan Shane Williams told us, “I work with two of them, and let me tell you this morning has been hellish. They’ve been polite, smiley and willing to chat to anyone.  It’s absolutely sickening.”

“It’s as if a football match has somehow made their lives better. Personally, I think they need a slap and reminding that their entire existence is still as utterly pointless as it was yesterday.”

“One of them mentioned something about beating the best team in the world meaning they’re now the best team in the world, so I was left with no choice but to throw my coffee over him.  He still kept smiling – the idiot.”

Arsenal beat Barcelona

The win sets up an enticing second leg in Barcelona on 8th March, with many Arsenal fans set to forgo conventional routes in order to travel to Spain on a wave of euphoria.

Williams continued, “It’s bad enough that they’re forever taking the moral high-ground in which they seem to think we should value a goal at the end of 45 passes more highly than a goal Stoke would score – fortunately football doesn’t work that way.”

“I could just about put up with it whilst they weren’t winning anything, but it’s getting awfully close to some silverware now.”

Tottenham fan Mikey Goldberg told us, “They seem to have forgotten the long periods in which they were completely outplayed and the dubious disallowed Barcelona goal.”

“So this is all very well, but let’s see how they’re feeling after they’ve been to the Nou Camp.”

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