Tuesday 15 February 2011

Berlusconi insists teenage girls had sex with him for free


Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi this morning strenuously denied accusations of teenage prostitution, insisting that all the teenagers he had sex with did so because they fancied him.

Berlusconi has been indicted to stand trial on charges of paying for sex with an under-age girl and abuse of power, charges which he completely denies.

A lawyer for Berlusconi told reporters, “My client would like it known that he never pays for sex.  All the teenagers he had copulated with did so because they find his 74 year-old body extremely attractive.”

“There was no abuse of power, they would have had sex with him if he’d been working as a Pizza delivery boy, such is his animal magnetism.”

“How can he be found guilty merely of being irresistible to nubile teenage girls? If anything, his actions constitute a public service in helping keep Italy’s streets free from horny teenagers.”

Berlusconi to stand trial

Berlusconi is to stand trial in front of three female judges in a scenario he has described as his ‘worst nightmare’, as none of them is particularly attractive.

His lawyer continued, “It’s a travesty – how can he stand trial before three women he would not have sex with?  He is the Italian prime minister and deserves a hottie in every room.”

“His worst crime? He’s in danger of making David Cameron look like a good prime minister.”

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