Thursday 10 February 2011

Egyptian protesters shocked to learn democracy can lead to George Osborne


Egyptian protests were stopped in their tracks this afternoon when protesters were informed that the democracy they are on the verge of securing, for which they have risked their lives, can lead to someone like George Osborne.

As protests entered their 17th day, many of those on the streets were sustained solely by the hope of a better world in a truly democratic Egypt – until they realised what democracy can actually do.

One confused protester told us, “I don’t understand, how can a Utopian world where everyone gets an equal vote on the running of the country possibly lead to George Osborne.  It doesn’t make sense?”

Another who had been reading a British newspaper said, “It seems you can find your country’s finances being run by the son of a multi-millionaire, even though the votes for him were insufficient to get him into power outright.”

“That can’t be right, surely? Are you’re quite sure what you’re describing there is a democracy?”

Egypt Protest coming to an end

It is expected that President Mubarak will this evening announce on state television that he is standing down with immediate effect, and will tell the Egyptian people, “Don’t blame me if you get a George Osborne.”

“Sure, you might think my autocratic regime was a little stifling, but you wait until a smarmy old public school boy starts making the rules – then you’ll see just how good I actually was.”

“As for me, I’m off to negotiate my fee for the next series of I’m a Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here.”

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