Tuesday 8 February 2011 by Malcolm Everall

That thing in Egypt still going on as Granny foils jewel thieves


News agencies are reporting another day of that thing happening in Egypt, where those protesters are up in arms about that prime Minister they don’t like. Or possibly the President, according to sources.

And with civil unrest continuing in Tunisia and Jordan, it’s believed that a have-a-go granny has foiled would-be jewellery thieves in the midland town of Northampton.

With details coming in under conditions of strict censorship by Egyptian authorities, a picture is emerging of groups of men continuing to chant angrily at shrugging tank commanders, like they were doing last week when you watched the news round at your mum’s house.

Meanwhile the one with the big nose who seems to be the one the Egyptians don’t like has been seen sitting in a reproduction Louis XIV fauteuil next to another fellow and chatting away, but it is not yet clear whether that is something that happened recently, or a long time ago, or indeed whether it happened in Egypt or somewhere else.

However, sources in the Egyptian capital have been unable to cast fresh light on the battling granny story, which is backed by really cool CCTV footage and entertaining soundbites by English-speaking eyewitnesses.

Have a-go Granny

It is believed that the crowds of young men have now stepped up their demands for urgent action to address their concerns.

Those demands are now for immediate action and radical reform of the situation that they disagree with and are so cross about, and it’s widely reckoned that they have probably threatened further mass demonstrations and marching if those new demands are not met.

The thieves fled empty-handed after the unnamed old dear went for them with her handbag, which must have been hilarious.

Chants have been heard across the Egyptian capital, Cairo, as well as the major population centres of Alexandria and that other one.

Reports of gunfire have also been reported, but not for a while now, and people who try to rob a shop and have to run away from a pensioner must feel a right bunch of pillocks.

That BBC reporter you’ve never seen before has been sighted doing a piece to camera in some street in Egypt wearing a flak jacket and crash hat, and looking like he hasn’t shaved for a while, like he thinks he’s Ross Kemp or something.

But he didn’t have a shot of ‘Supergran’, as she’s been dubbed. Which is a shame.

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