Friday 28 January 2011 by Spacey

Police reveal 61m suspect shortlist after leading EDL member’s house attacked


Police investigating an attack on the house of a leading member of the English Defence League have revealed they are focusing their enquiries on their list of 61,000,000 potential suspects.

Officers were called to Kevin Carroll’s home in Bolingstoke Road, Luton, (that’s Bolingstoke Road in Luton, we’re not sure of the number, but it’s just off Wigglesden Avenue – just look out for the one with a Union Jack in the window) late on Thursday after reports that an object was thrown at one of the windows.

The object, which may have been a brick (maybe you could use a dustbin or a sun lounger, just make sure you wear gloves), has not been found.

Mr Carroll said he went to investigate and saw a man who appeared to be holding a shotgun. However police remain sceptical of this version of events, as no shots were fired, and the only witness is an extremely litigious racist.

EDL house attacked

The police went on to reveal the main reason for ruling out the possibility of a firearms offence having been committed.

A police spokesperson said, “We find it hard to believe that someone who had Mr Carroll in their sights, and a gun in their possession, wouldn’t pull the trigger.”

Officers have carried out a pretty half-hearted search of the area, but no offender has so far been found.

Police said they were trying to establish what happened and have asked to speak to anyone who, “Saw anything hilariously funny, no, sorry, suspicious – I meant suspicious.”

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