Friday 28 January 2011

Andy Gray spends evening analysing wife’s supermarket tactics on ProZone


Former Sky Sports pundit Andy Gray spent yesterday evening using cutting edge technology to analyse his wife’s tactics during her weekly shopping expedition to their local Sainsbury’s.

Gray waited patiently until she’d finished unpacking the perishable goods before using a series of CCTV camera angles and brightly coloured graphics to critically assess her grocery shopping performance.

Speaking to no-one in particular, Gray began, “Overall I think she’s got to be happy with the result.”

“Sainsbury’s on a Thursday evening is never an easy place to, and I think she’s come away with the very least she could expect from her efforts, definitely.”

“But there are certainly a few areas for improvement, and one or two glaring mistakes that I’m sure she’ll want to work on in training.”

“You see here, for example. There was an obvious gap down towards to the eggs, but if we roll the film forward you can see she chose to easy option and moved across to the bread, that’s a lack of experience right there.”

“A shopper with a bit more vision would definitely have capitalised on that opportunity.”

Andy Gray used graphics to show how he's much better than a woman

Andy Gray Anlysis

Gray went on to look at her efforts in sourcing her favourite fair trade coffee, which appeared to be out of stock.

“You can see her querying the supermarket’s decision here, but to be honest, having seen the evidence back, and the stock-check manifest, I’d have to say the officials got this one right.”

Using the latest software, Gray was also able to determine her average speed and distance covered during the shopping expedition.

He said, “The figures don’t lie, and she was 30% slower down the cake aisle than she was in going past the fruit – that’s something we need to work on, clearly.”

“She also went up and down the fresh meat isle four times, that’s a waste of energy if I’m honest, and there’s no point putting in so much effort if you’re consistently in the wrong areas.”

“That said, she did pick up three Pizza Express special offers, so take a bow love, take a bow.”

Having reviewed the analysis Mrs Gray concluded, “Someone, anyone, please give him a job. Please, I’m absolutely begging you.”

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