Thursday 27 January 2011

Keys’ reputation in tatters as nation left wondering if Redknapp smashed it


Richard Keys has seen his reputation as a television summariser left in ruins as a nation eager for the next scoop was left wondering whether Jamie Redknapp actually smashed it, or not.

Keys resigned yesterday from his position at Sky Sports, following the broadcast of a clip in which he completely failed to find out whether Jamie Redknapp had successfully ‘hung out of the back of’ an as yet unnamed female.

The failure left his position untenable, with many viewers left angry at his lack of professionalism.

Sky sports fan Shane Williams said, “This is ridiculous. Call him self a television presenter, stroke, sort of journalist?  He didn’t get an answer, and frankly didn’t even seem interested in the truth.”

“I hope such flagrant disregard for journalistic process sees him out of work for quite some considerable time.”

Another subscriber told us, “I’m glad he’s gone. If I wanted to hear someone avoid questions about their sex life I’d go to the pub with my mate Dave.  I pay good money for Sky, and I expect better.”

Richard Keys resigns

The resignation has ignited hopes that Keys’ replacement will have all the skills necessary to uncover the secrets of Jamie Redknapp’s sex life.

Williams continued, “Let’s be honest, Redknapp has the life we all wanted. If I can’t be him, then I want to live vicariously through him by having someone on television ask him about all of his sexual conquests.”

“They could make a show not so much about the Anfield bootroom, as Jamie’s bedroom.  They could put it on after the results on a Saturday and call it ‘Jamie’s endless list of assorted skanks’.”

“I’d watch it, definitely.”

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