Monday 24 January 2011

Gay queer homo bender faggot, claims Daily Mail


The Daily Mail has announced a shift in editorial policy which will see a move away from a opinion pieces and news coverage in favour of a list of words designed to make regular readers foam at the mouth.

Following recent success with articles covering attractive murdered women, gay pop stars, and homosexuality being taught in schools, the paper’s editors have finally taken the plunge by publishing a series of words designed to push homophobes to the brink of seizure.

A Daily Mail spokesperson said, “What we have found is that replacing opinion pieces with a series of words designed to anger our core demographic, tends to drive much more traffic to our website.  The more hideous our phrasing, the more hits we get.”

“We occasionally mix those words with things our readers feel strongly about, and voila, you have yourself an Internet hit.”

“Take this morning’s aticle for example, by merely stringing together the words ‘homosexual gay school bender teachers education faggot’, Melanie Phillips has arrived at possibly her most successful article ever.”

Daily Mail Homosexuality in schools

The move is seen as a masterstroke by media analysts, with some claiming that turning the Internet into a giant ball of impotent fury is extremely attractive to advertisers.

“If you sell anti-gay underpants, for example, then there is no better place to advertise than on the Daily Mail website.”

“They have stolen a march on the competition, and have pretty much cornered the market in hideously misinformed angry morons.”

“They have another exclusive tomorrow, and I can’t reveal too much without burning my source, but I read a short extract that said, ‘Pikey gypo no-taxes theft immigrant stealing black gaylord paedo’ – it’s going to be a hot one, for sure.”

Not a Daily Mail fan? Good, now tell everyone you don’t read the Daily Mail

There are currently witterings below - why not add your own?

Previous post:

Next post: