Tuesday 18 January 2011 by Formelia Alberthine

NHS reform cannot be put off as long as many life saving operations, says Cameron


David Cameron has said NHS reform cannot be put off as long as its patients’ life saving operations, insisting that the sooner the many ridiculous waiting lists can be blamed on someone else, the better.

The PM said he wanted to ‘do the right thing’ by the public and the public sector alike, but it was difficult as the main benefactors of the NHS are the 67.6% of the population who chose not to vote for him at the 2010 general election.

He told reporters, “The NHS is its own worst enemy. Its attempts to save the lives of everybody in desperate need of saving are totally unrealistic and at the core of criticism leveled at it.”

“Then when they fail to do so, we get the blame. It’s first class hypocrisy. If we tried to do something that was bound to fail, we wouldn’t blame someone else, and neither should they.”

“I have a dream, a dream of an NHS for which I take no responsibility, and the enormous waiting lists, restrictive medicine budgets and outdated equipment are blamed on someone else completely.”

NHS reform

Cameron went on to express his admiration for the dedication demonstrated by those whose job specifications he was about to change completely.

“Take GPs for example, their many years of specialist medical training and hands-on patient experience are vital to us, yet we feel the nation would be much better served by putting them in control of the budgets of hospitals they won’t ever have the time to visit.”

“Now that’s what I call reform.”

NHS patient Nick Williams told us, “He wants to give groups of GPs control over the NHS budgets? These are the same GPs that blamed their £100k over-time bills on the rules not saying they couldn’t bill £100k in overtime, right?”

“Yeah, I can see that’s going to work out swimmingly.”

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