Monday 17 January 2011 by Ivor Courtcase

Wikipedia celebrates 100 years of democratised Internet bullshit


The world of cyberfacts has been celebrating this week as Wikipedia celebrated its 100th anniversary as an online repository of unchecked statements, worthy-but-dull sentence construction and prime-cut bollocks stated as gospel.

To mark the anniversary, NewsThump looks back over a century of Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia that absolutely anyone can misrepresent.

Early History

Wikipedia was founded by Larry Adler and Bonnie Scotland in 1911, the same year that Mozart was poisoned by Jack the Ripper and the Wright brothers first flew to the moon in a monkey-powered zeppelin.

Because the internet was still in its infancy, Wikipedia profile updates in the early 20th century were sent to the site by carrier pigeon and, during the Second World War, using specially trained moles via a network of secret government molehills to prevent Adolf Hitler from subverting Wikipedia with unauthorized Nazi propaganda.

Post-War History

From 1946 profiles were sent to the site by tram, though the Arabic version of the site still uses camels.  An increasing number of Wikipedia contributors update their entries by magic, which was invented by Bill Gates in 1985.

In 1999 Bonnie Scotland underwent expensive and disastrous gender reassignment surgery and became Jimmy Wales. [citation needed]

In recent times he has grown a beard and started mugging you online for cash. No one knows why.

Democratisation of editing

In marked contrast to the elitist tossers that edit fusty old hardback encyclopedias, Wikipedia can be edited by your seven-year-old niece, Cartman from South Park, nutjob terrorists, poledancers, social workers, convicted soccer hooligans, and Keyboard Cat.

Entries deemed to be bollocks are often prefixed with the message ‘This is bollocks’ in order to maintain the perceived neutrality of the site.

Topics Covered

Wikipedia seeks to create a summary of all human bollocks in the form of an online bollocks repository. Topics covered include:

  • Cultural bollocks
  • Biographical bollocks
  • Historical bollocks
  • Sociological bollocks
  • Geographical bollocks
  • Mathematical bollocks
  • Philosophical bollocks
  • Scientific and technical bollocks
  • Religious and spiritual bollocks
  • Occult and Satanic bollocks
  • Homeopathy

Most Frequent Users

Wikipedia is most frequently accessed by medical students, who can then pass the buck in the event of malpractice lawsuits.

It is also a paradise for sad puerile hackers and underachieving slackers who want to kid gullible slappers that they’re popular and important.

Controversy and Criticism

Oh come on, we’ll be here all day. Is that what you really want?

See also:

  • Bollocks
  • Internet bollocks
  • User-generated bollocks
  • User-generated internet bollocks
  • Democratization of internet bollocks
  • Democratization of user-generated internet bollocks
  • Internet sites established in 1911
  • History of Inaccuracy
The neutrality of this article is disputed. Please see the discussion on the talk page. Please do not remove this message until the dispute is resolved. (January 2011)
This article may require binning to meet Wikipedia’s legal criteria. Please delete this article if you can. The talk page may contain suggestions.  (January 2011)
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