Tuesday 11 January 2011

MP Eric Illsley pleads guilty to acting like an MP


Former Labour MP Eric Illsley has pleaded guilty to three charges of behaving like an MP, after previously denying all charges of doing that thing we all knew he did anyway.

On Friday, former Labour MP David Chaytor became the first person to be jailed for acting like an MP, receiving an 18 month term for taking money out of your pockets.

A spokesperson from the prosecution team against Mr Illsley explained, “Behaving like an MP is an extremely serious crime, and one which will almost certainly see him serve a custodial sentence of some sort.”

“We have to send out a message that acting like an MP will not be tolerated among our elected officials, so we would like to see him made an example of, yes.”

“He may now be expressing remorse for acting like an MP, but that doesn’t excuse him, or preclude him from punishment.  The law is very clear on this point – behave like an MP, and you go to prison.”

Eric Illsley expenses trial

Mr Illsley’s defence team have said they are hoping his admission of behaving like an MP will see him earn a sentence of less than a year.

“Fortunately, in this country you can go to prison for up to 12 months and still be an MP – I know, it surprised us too – so we’re hoping for 364 days or fewer.”

Tax payer Sheila Williams told us, “We all knew he behaved like an MP, you only had to look at him and those two letters after his name to know he was guilty, so I suppose there was little point in him pretending otherwise any longer.”

“The sooner our MPs stop acting like MPs the sooner this country can stop being run by shitehawks.”

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