Friday 7 January 2011 by @Johnnybeelzebub

Women’s cricket is miles better anyway, claim victorious Australians


Australian fans

Australian cricket fans have responded to Ashes taunts from the triumphant Barmy Army by pointing out their women’s team thoroughly dismantled their English counterparts yesterday.

While Andrew Strauss’ team won the famous terracotta urn after winning the final test in Sydney this morning, the Australian women left that achievement in the shadows, trouncing England’s ladies in emphatic fashion with a match still left to play.

“Who’s crying now?” asked one exultant Australian. “I admit, I was a little upset when our boys failed to at least level the series in the final test, but I really couldn’t care less about that now.”

“Our Sheilas were absolutely awe-inspiring, and they’ve really stuck it to those Poms.”

“Women cricketers are much better than men at all facets of the game anyway, apart from the sledging. I overhead one bowler asking the England bats-woman why she was so fat.”

“She responded by explaining that it was her time of the month and something about excessive water retention.”

Women’s cricket

Travelling English fans were left visibly crestfallen at the England ladies team’s demise, with some even reduced to tears.

“I’m absolutely distraught,” wept Alan Reddington from Sheffield. “I was really happy after our lads won the Ashes but we all know that this was the big one.”

“Those bloody gloating Aussies will never let me hear the end of it.”

England captain Charlotte Edwards was philosophical about the crushing defeat which has rocked the nation.

“It’s hard to take, and I realise we’ve let so many people down,” she admitted.

“But what we have to realise is that we were playing the legendary Australian ladies and they are a far better team than their men’s side.”

“They also had an Australian captain at the top of their game and scoring runs for fun, which is the first time that has been said in the last seven weeks.”

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