Friday 7 January 2011

Homeless man with lisp to remain homeless indefinitely


A London homeless man with a lisp who uploaded a video of himself promoting products has spectacularly failed to become an Internet sensation.

Rob Williams, 37, has been living on the streets for eight years, and had hoped a viral video of him introducing products and radio shows would help him get a job, despite sounding like a cross between Joe Pasquale and Jonathon Ross.

Talking in a central London Internet cafe, he told us, “I have quite an interesting voice, and I’m perfectly understandable so long as I don’t have to pronounce words with either a ‘S’ or and ‘R’ in them.”

“Unfortunately, of the eleven people who have viewed my video, no-one has offered me a job, though one offered me an exciting investment opportunity in Nigeria.”

Homeless YouTube sensation

The case of Ted Williams has given hope to thousands of homeless people that they, too, might be discovered and given a meaningful place in society.

Rob Williams continued, “You have to remember there are homeless people from all walks of life, who have fallen on hard times but still have amazing talents and abilities.  It just happens that I’m just not one of them.”

“It seems I have little to offer a publicity hungry media corporation, or a product in need of a YouTube celebrity.  I only have eleven views.”

“No, wait, it’s up to twelve!”

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