Wednesday 5 January 2011

Avon police seemingly unaware Facebook mostly populated by morons


Avon Police have begun a Facebook campaign in a bid to catch the killer of Jo Yeates, after failing to realise that Facebook is populated almost entirely by morons.

Detectives said Facebook was more effective than posters and leaflet drops as it has the potential to reach more people, displaying a worrying level of ignorance about the type of people actually inhabiting the social network.

Facebook user Simon Williams told us, “I’m on Facebook, and frankly, 99% of the people on there are borderline simpletons.”

“If the police think they are going to get any help in finding the murderer from half a billion people busy posting and tagging Christmas or New Year photos, I fear they will be sorely disappointed.”

“What ever happened to good old-fashioned investigating, and following clues?”

Jo Yeates investigation hits Facebook

Avon police say the initial response to their campaign has been overwhelming.

A spokesperson explained, “It’s been amazing, we’ve had contact from over fifty thousand Facebook users so far, mostly telling us that we can find out who is viewing our profile by clicking on a particular link, or demanding help in building a barn in some part of the country called ‘Farmville’.”

“Generally speaking, most people’s horoscopes are pretty positive for the week ahead, and we’ve been invited to an awful lot of parties for people we don’t know.”

“Also, there’s a very pretty Latin-looking girl who seems awfully keen to chat to us outside Facebook.  Such is her persistence that I think she must know something very important to the investigation.”

“To be honest, it’s taking a lot more man power than we thought we’d need to filter through all the really interesting status updates and wall posts.”

“Do we have any actual leads? No, not as yet.”

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