Friday 31 December 2010

Voyeurs disappointed by lack of dramatic televised murderer man-hunt


The nation’s voyeurs have today expressed their disappointment at the speed and efficiency with which Avon and Somerset police have dealt with the investigation into the tragic murder of Jo Yeates, denying them hours of riveting television coverage.

With landlord and former public school teacher Chris Jefferies still being questioned by police after his arrest for her murder, drama addicts are facing the very real possibility that the whole case could be wrapped up before the New Year.

“It’s a bit disappointing,” said Mike Williams, “I’d hoped for some sort of car chase, with maybe an armed seige at the end.  The last one with that Moat chap kept me glued to the telly all evening.”

“When I heard it was the Somerset force leading the chase, I honestly expected this to go on for weeks and weeks.  Shows how much I know – bloody excellent West country policemen, doing their job brilliantly and ruining our fun.”

However, many viewers are not surprised the investigation resulted in such a swift arrest, with Daily Mail reader Deirdre Matthews explaining, “I knew they’d arrest him, just as soon as I realise he had the same silhouette as Darth Vader.”

Chris Jeffries arrested

In the US authorities are still hoping that Julian Assange can somehow be implicated in the murder.

A state official said, “He looks a bit like Chris Jefferies. Are we sure that he wasn’t coached in abduction techniques by Julian Assange?”

“Perhaps Assange dressed up as Jefferies in order to commit this horrendous crime.  I don’t think we should discount anything at this stage.”

“We have no idea what evidence will turn up once one of our representatives has visited the forensic lab on Friday afternoon.”

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