Thursday 30 December 2010 by Spacey

Ticket sale concerns for TUC New Year’s Eve Disco


After TUC general secretary Brendan Barber’s claimed that 2011 will be ‘horrible’ and will see cuts in jobs and real cuts in living standards, tickets sales for this years TUC New Year’s Eve party have fallen away dramatically.

Barber insisted that celebrating the dawn of 2011 would be another example of ‘the bourgeoisie using the blood of the workers to oil the wheels of capitalism’.

Organisers of the event have tried to play down Mr Barber’s claims by insisting it will be ‘a really fun party with some great entertainment and a disco after,’ but New Year’s Eve revellers seem reluctant to buy tickets in the fear that the party might serve to highlight the patriarchal hegemony inherent in the system.

“Just because 2011 has all the signs of being a truly miserable year for vast numbers of the population, that doesn’t mean that we can’t celebrate,” insisted party organiser Jenny Scott.

“Everyone needs to let their hair down once in a while regardless of whether they are shackled by the ruling classes.”

TUC claims of terrible 2011

The Public and Commercial Services Union’s New Year Hootenanny has also experienced poor ticket sales after leader Mark Serwotka insisted that anyone letting off a party popper on New Years Eve should be shot.

“Wearing fancy dress or inhaling helium from a balloon so your voice goes squeaky is playing into the hands of this government.”

“We must stand firm and show them that we mean business, and you can’t project that if you’re eating brie and cranberry parcels and dancing to the Ultimate Disco Party Mix.” he urged.

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