Wednesday 29 December 2010

Nation celebrates as everyone returns to driving like pricks


Across the country pricks have celebrated the disappearance of the Christmas snow by driving to work in the reckless high-speed fashion that has become their trade mark.

As temperatures rise a few degrees above freezing, a thaw has seen most major roads return to their previous prick-friendly condition.

As one prick commuter explained, “It’s nice to not have to look out for other motorists again, and to completely ignore my indicators.  It’s those little things you miss when the snow is on the ground.”

“I’ve spent the last week obeying speed limits, often driving well below them. Let me assure you it has been absolutely exhausting.”

“It’s been lovely to just put my foot down again and to completely ignore the safety of everyone around me as I return to treating the road like my own personal playground.”

Road conditions good for pricks

Meteorologists have suggested that although the thaw is almost complete, further snow fall may force pricks to drive responsibly once again this winter.

27 year old estate agent Rob Matthews told us, “It’s disgusting, I pay my taxes yet as soon as a little bit of snow lands on the ground I have to stop driving like a prick.”

“Sweden doesn’t have this trouble, they get loads more snow that us yet can drive like pricks all year round without any problem whatsoever.”

“It’s almost as if the government doesn’t care whether I drive like a prick or not.”

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