Monday 20 December 2010

HR department pleads with Lord Sugar for more time-efficient recruitment process


As Stella English won the latest series of The Apprentice, and a role in Lord Sugar’s business empire, his HR department have pleaded for the right to recruit people using a more time-efficient process.

After 12 weeks of rigorous assessment, Lord Sugar concluded the series by turning executive businessmen stereotypes on their head in giving the job to the tidy blond who happens to be rather easy on the eye.

However, HR professionals within his organisation have pleaded with Lord Sugar to let them try employing people using more traditional, less time-consuming, methods.

As one HR manager told us, “Ever since the Apprentice started he’s insisted in being involved in all recruitment processes, from board-level executives, to the woman who makes sandwiches in the canteen.”

“We took eight weeks to find someone to fill her role you know. The process included a series of pointless tasks, including the design of a new laxative, which he insisted would help him see who was best at cutting loaves and spreading mayonnaise.”

“We’ve all tried to explain to Lord Sugar that we could just conduct a few interviews and hire someone in a day or two, but he insisted that he wanted to see how much they wanted the job.  Which to be honest, most people didn’t.”

The Apprentice winner

One of the plus sides to such a lengthy recruitment process is the fact that without the cameras present, candidates are much less deferential to Lord Sugar.

Our insider went on, “We had one guy in looking for a job in the maintenance department, and when Lord Sugar told him he was ‘fired’ he instantly corrected him, before explaining in great detail why you can’t fire someone you don’t yet employ.”

“That was a very interesting twenty minutes, let me tell you. After quoting all sorts of employment law, the guy insisted that if he was being fired, he wanted a generous severance package, or he’d call in his union.”

“Lord Sugar just kept pointing at him saying, ‘No, you’re fired!’ whilst looking a bit confused by it all.”

“In the end we gave him a grand just to go away.”

There are currently witterings below - why not add your own?

Previous post:

Next post: