Tuesday 14 December 2010

Latest Wikileaks cables reveal Sarah Palin is real


Sarah Palin

Wikileaks has released a series of diplomatic cables which suggest Sarah Palin is a real politician, and not the comic creation of some Hollywood mastermind.

The news is set to shock the diplomatic community, among whom Palin had become a favourite topic of conversation at embassy dinners around the world.

A UK Government source told us, “This is the most shocking wikileaks revelation yet, without doubt.”

“I can’t believe that all this time America has been concealing a real politician behind the facade of a mentally unstable gun-toting former prom-queen with her own reality television show.”

“Just thinking about her makes me laugh, and wikileaks are now telling us it’s not a joke?  She’s a real politician, with actual powers of office?  Terrifying.”

“I’m sure the Americans are absolutely furious that this information has been leaked.  I know I would be.”

“They’ll be telling us all that anti-free healthcare Tea Party stuff is real next, even though it’s the funniest thing to come out of the US since GhostBusters.”

Wikileaks Palin revelation

This latest revelation is set to further ignite tensions between the US and those running the Wikileaks website, with further accusations levelled at the whistle-blowers claiming that this information is not in the public interest.

A US state department spokesperson told us, “We would argue that knowledge of Sarah Palins legitimate role in our democratic process is of no interest to anyone outside of Alaska.”

“Of what benefit is it to the world at large to know that two years ago she was very nearly within an old man’s heart attack of the White House? Hmm?”

As the value of the dollar began to fall, a statement has been issued to the stock markets reassuring global financial experts that Sarah Palin is closely monitored at all times, and is not allowed to sign anything without discussing it with at least two adults first.

It ended, “Please rest assured, although she is a real politician, none of us take her even remotely seriously.”

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