Monday 13 December 2010 by Gary Stanton

Stockholm bomber had spent full afternoon at Ikea, police reveal


Stockholm bombing

An unhappy experience at the avant garde furniture retailer Ikea may have prompted Taymour Abdel Wahab to turn his ire against the Swedish nation, it has emerged.

Police searching an address in Bedfordshire removed no fewer than eight items of designer Swedish tat from the house including CD racks, light fittings and a voucher offering a reasonably priced breakfast of meatballs in tomato sauce.

Detectives also discovered a further series of objects in a back bedroom which were still partly in their boxes, with instruction leaflets strewn across the floor, and believe it is these which may have pushed Wahab over the edge.

Neighbour, Alan Jardine, last night recalled how he had encountered a visibly–distressed Wahab on a recent shopping expedition to the Scandinavian furniture giant:

“He was asking an assistant whether he could measure up an Aspelund wardrobe, they’re made of really lightweight material and fit very snugly into the average bedroom alcove, leaving room perhaps for a Grundtal halogen light.”

“Anyway, the guy didn’t have a tape measure and that’s when he seemed to change. “

Stockholm bombing

Jardine continued, “He became sullen and withdrawn and said he was going to try Debenhams.”

“I told him he could probably get a better deal at John Lewis, not to mention a full five-year guarantee on all furniture and electrical goods but I felt like I was talking to myself. “

Islamist website Shumukh al-Islam admitted Taymour Abdel Wahab was responsible for the explosions, which Sweden has said caused some superficial damage to a Volvo hatchback, one that had recently passed its MOT first time despite being eleven years old.

The website said, “It is our brother, mujahid Taymour Abdel Wahab, who carried out the martyrdom operation in Stockholm after taking up to five hours to assemble a sofa from the Ektorp range.”

“They’re the L-shaped ones which allow you talk to as many as four house guests without craning your neck.”

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