Tuesday 7 December 2010 by Spacey

South-West braced for severe outbreaks of snow-based apathy


The population of the south-west of England are bracing themselves for further severe outbreaks of apathy after Met Office warnings of heavy snow continued to not affect them.

The news that hundreds of drivers were stuck overnight in Scotland has been met with the same lack of interest normally associated with a work colleague’s issues selling charity raffle tickets.

National headlines detailing school closures, airport delays, train cancellations and traffic being brought to a standstill have been overshadowed in the south-west by news that the future supply of traditional Gloucestershire mistletoe is under threat and a Swindon bride travelled to her wedding in a skip.

Severe apathy is expected hit harder in the south of the country, just as soon as everyone realises the snow is unlikely to get anywhere near them any time soon.

Snow Apathy

Amongst those of little or no interest to those unaffected by snow is Alan Towle, who set out on a journey from work that normally takes 45 minutes, only to arrive home nine hours later.

“It was pretty horrific,” he explained. “I had no idea of how long it was going to take to get home, and that combined with the plummeting temperatures meant tha…….excuse me, are you even listening?”

BBC weather forecaster Matt Taylor revealed that the prospects look pretty bleak for the south-west with a further wave of not giving a shit sweeping into the region over the next few days and continuing well into next week.

“Blah, blah, blah, blah,” he confirmed.

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