Thursday 25 November 2010

McDegrees to be about as good for you as they sound


McDonald's Degree

Fast-food restaurant McDonald’s has announced its own degree course for its restaurant managers, with early reports suggesting it will be about as good for you as it sounds.

The foundation degree will be aimed at store managers, and will give them the essential skills needed in running a hugely overrated food emporium.

However critics of the scheme have said that it is fundamentally impossible for anything with the word McDonald’s in it to be good for you.

Educational consultant Heather Griffiths told us, “It’s much like anything else you put the word ‘McDonalds’ in front of.  Take ‘food’ for example.  Food is good for you, but add the word McDonalds and suddenly it sounds like an oxymoron.”

“Their degrees will be much the same, degrees are good for your careers, but add McDonald’s at the front and you’ll be enjoying the educational equivalent of a chicken mcnugget.”

McDonald’s Degree

HR professionals are eagerly anticipating the new qualification, with one city-based recruiter telling us, “Oh I can’t wait for the first person to apply for a job here with a McDonald’s degree on their CV.  It will be hilarious.”

“I think we might start doing background checks on potential employees to make sure they don’t have one.  We’ll put it on the list right between County Court Judgement and Sexual Assualt Conviction.”

Heather Griffiths concluded, “The McDegree might sound good if you’ve had a late night and fancy some sort of quick and easy qualification that will give you a moderate amount of immediate satisfaction.  But you just know that a couple of hours later you’ll regret the decision.”

“On the brightside, I don’t think a bored Saturday worker can wank into a McDegree.”

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