Wednesday 24 November 2010 by Spacey

UK preparing to pretend it can’t get to work as snow approaches


UK workers are planning a fun-filled long weekend as weather forecasters have revealed that significant snowfall will provide workers everywhere with a highly plausible reason for not going to work.

Northern and Eastern parts of the UK are expected to bear the brunt of the wintry conditions, leading to some office workers in Leeds using their lunch breaks to let down the tyres of council gritters and empty salt supplies into the nearest drain.

People from southern and western parts of the UK are determined not to miss out on a few free days off, and have revealed the planning in place to ensure they take advantage of even the briefest of snow flurries.

“I’ve saved a picture on my phone from last year that shows me walking my dog in thick snow, ” revealed customer service administrator Gareth Jones.

“If anyone has the temerity to question my ability to get to work then I can show them that picture.”

“As long as they’ve forgotten about the time I took off in the summer because my dog was tragically killed when it was hit by a bus.”

UK Snow Forecast

Meteorologists have said this is the earliest that people have been able to pretend not to be able to get to work for many years.

“We rarely see weather-related work avoidance till mid-December, so this is something of a novelty.”

“We’re not sure how long this cold snap is going to last, so I’d recommend making the most of these completely unnecessary few days at home.”

BBC forecaster Matt Taylor said, “I’m going to say those words that everyone loves to hear…..are you ready?”

“Don’t leave home unless you absolutely have to!”

“You’re welcome.”

Keep Calm – It’s Only Snow T-Shirt

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