Monday 22 November 2010 by Will Blake

Large Hadron Collider creates world’s first anti-matter electricity bill


Large Hadron Collider

Scientists running the Large Hadron Collider have expressed amazement at the possible existence of anti-matter electricity bills after they received a final demand from the Swiss Energy Office.

The electricity bill appeared for only a few nanoseconds before disappearing under a huge pile of papers on an administrator’s desk. However, its fleeting appearance has already caused a stir within the world of high-energy particle physics.

Cern’s chief scientist told reporters, “It’s tremendously exciting. The standard hypothesis has always been that electricity is a free, naturally occurring substance that scientists don’t have to pay for.”

“This bill from the Swiss Energy Office has turned everything on its head.”

“Also, we’ve already received two phone calls from npower insisting they can provide our anti-matter electricity for less than our current provider.”

Anti-matter electricity

Other are not convinced the bill is that significant. Professor Bundon of the Max Planck Institute countered, “If you have to use trillions of gigawatts over several months in order to create one single bill seen by only a handful of people, can it truly be said to be real? I think we can safely ignore it.”

This is not the first time the world of science has been rocked by such discoveries. Stephen Hawking was once left for a week without food and water after his carer demanded payment for looking after him. He later solved the problem by marrying her.

When asked about the Large Hadron Collider running up huge bills that exist only for a fraction of a second, the Swiss Energy Office said they do not comment on individual customers.

A spokesperson told us, “One of the greatest challenges facing modern society is how to make money from the scientific discovery of others, but I think you’ll find we’ve perfected it.”

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