Thursday 11 November 2010

I regret signing everything put in front of me, Clegg tells Daybreak viewer


It has been reported that Liberal Democrat leader Nick Clegg appeared on ITV’s Daybreak program this morning to confess to its viewer that he regrets signing absolutely everything that people put in front of him.

Reports claim that Mr. Clegg did indeed appear on the breakfast show, possibly even today, to confess that he had seen huge upheaval in his personal life in recent months and regretted signing lots of things put in front of him which he never really checked properly.

The Daybreak viewer, Mrs. Christine Bleakley Snr. told reporters, “It was today or maybe yesterday, I forget which. He seemed to intimate that he signs things all the time without checking them.”

Mrs. Bleakley Snr. was unable to provide more information as she turned over to watch absolutely anything at all on another channel.

Nick Clegg’s regrets

Clegg sought to clarify his position after the Daybreak viewer mentioned it to a few people at the post office.

He told reporters, “Does it really matter if I made a promise? Does it really matter that I put that promise in writing, and signed what probably appears to be a legally binding contract?”

“I’m not sure it does. I can’t really be held accountable for signing every little pledge, document or contract that gets put in front of me.”

“I’ve signed a lot of things I probably shouldn’t, but there’s always something new  to sign. Binding coalition this, marriage certificate that.”

“I honestly can’t stop myself.  I think it’s best all round if we just ignore absolutely anything I’ve ever put my name to.  Deal?”

ITV bosses appeared to show a great deal of sympathy to the Lib Dem leader, as they too are eager to backtrack on at least two contracts they have signed in recent months, believed to be related to their early morning programming.

There are currently witterings below - why not add your own?

Previous post:

Next post: