Thursday 11 November 2010

But my eleven O’clock conference call is essential, claims office prick


Total pricks across the country are telling their colleagues they can’t observe this morning’s two-minute silence because their conference call to secure the stationary order is of absolute vital importance to the future success of the company.

Many have argued that taking two-minutes out of your day to remember those lost defending our freedom is a bit too much to ask, considering it happened ages and ages ago.

Martyn Jones, Office Manager at Williams & Co said he will be too busy to observe the two-minute silence, claiming “If I don’t get this order in, people will not be able to use the correct coloured pens at the end of the week, then where would we be? Anarchy.  That’s where.”

“People seem to think this place would run just fine if we all just took two minutes out of our day once a year to remember people who died protecting the country we live in.  Let me tell you it wouldn’t.”

“This office is like a finely tuned machine. If I just stopped working for a couple of minutes, willy nilly, and just to think about dead soldiers, then everything would probably explode.  I am that important.”

“As for downing tools at the drop of a hat, with a work ethic like that we might as well have let the German’s win. It was the Germans, right? Whatever.”

Armistice Day

However, his sentiment was not mirrored by his colleagues, such as Jerome Taylor, a customer services representative, who said “I’m all for it.  Two minutes of complete silence. It’s bliss.”

“Personally, I wish we could have a two-hour silence, maybe in the pub?”

“Or maybe we could have such a big silence that we didn’t have to come in after lunch. Then I could properly remember, you know?”

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