Wednesday 10 November 2010 By Spacey

We is not the stupiderest people in the countryland, insist Swindon folk


The people of Swindon have hit out at a survey  that has shown them to be the most ignorant people in the UK, by insisting that the questions in the survey were ‘stupiderist’.

The survey, which was conducted on behalf of BBC quiz show QI, marked people in a combination of areas such as levels of ignorance, logic, creativity and the humour of their answers.

One of the Swindon participants in the survey, Liam Drew, who was in Thomas Cook trying to book a holiday to Poundland, said, “I was the most intelligentist in my last year at school, and for some one to tell me i’m an ignorant because I think an octopus has got 13 legs is totally unfair.”

“And ‘which came first the chicken or the egg’ is clearly a silly question, because chickens and eggs both come from Asda and the chickens are in aisle two and the eggs in aisle four.  So it’s chickens, obviously.”

“I still maintain that the correct answer to the question ‘what colour are oranges?’ is ‘false’.”

“Look, some people think education is important, but football and tele is importanter.”

QI Street Survey

David Chambers, who acted as chief quizmaster on the QI street tour, told us,”York topped the survey with 48%, with Swindon dragging its knuckles on just 4%.”

“Yes, 4%.  Bear in mind you get 5% just for knowing which town you’re in when we actually question you.”

“The questions were of course set by a bunch of smug arseholes, but to put Swindon’s score into perspective, we also put the questions to a number of non-English speaking coma patients, who scored an average of 12%.”

The UK Space Agency, which is based in the Wiltshire town, have announced their surprise at the findings, and revealed that plans to launch the first manned tractor mission into space are still on course.

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