Wednesday 10 November 2010

Students working towards BSc in Social Unrest expecting at least 2:1


Students from across the country studying towards their BSc in Social Unrest are expecting excellent grades following the successful completion of a practical assessment for their final coursework assignment.

Representing 15% of their final grades, today’s London protest was a final chance for many to impress their lecturers before the final exams begin in a few months time.

Final year Social Unrest student Matthew Williams from Reading University explained, “I think I did quite well.  I got some good insults off to this one policeman, and threw a medium sized bin against a hotel window.”

“It didn’t break, it just bounced back and hit the pavement – but my technique was good, which is what we were told they were looking for, so I’d expect decent enough marks for the effort.”

“It will be nice for Mum and Dad to see I’ve not been putting all their money to waste.”

“To be honest, it was great to finally put some of our theory into practise.  I remember one of our first year lecturers, who must have spent two weeks talking about the most flammable types of placard – we thought he was mental, but he clearly knew what he was talking about.”

Social Unrest Students

Despite significant efforts on the part of the students, experts are predicting that some will struggle to reach the minimum grades required for a pass.

Former Social Unrest lecturer Walter Gallagher explained, “I saw a few students who didn’t even cover their faces when kicking in a window, that’s the sort of mistake you’d expect from a first year.  Not someone working towards their finals.”

“The standard of chanting has been quite poor really, especially when you think about how much planning must have gone into it.”

“I actually heard one girl shouting ‘What do we WANT? A fairer system for paying for our education so that poorer families are not disproportionately punished for sending their children to university! WHEN do we want it? NOW!’ – it was pathetic to be honest.”

Matthew Williams had the last word, telling us, “I remember a lot of people wondered why I would spend money on such a patently ridiculous degree – but my brother studied Hotel Management and Tourism, and he now works in a dry cleaners.”

“At least I’m putting my education into action, and I’ve not even graduated yet.”

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