Friday 5 November 2010

Britain places advert in newsagent window offering Abu Hamza ‘free to a good-ish home’


After jailed radical Muslim preacher Abu Hamza won his appeal against a government bid to strip him of his British passport – as the move would make him stateless – the UK has placed several adverts offering him free to a good-ish home.

Egyptian-born Hamza, who has one eye and a hook for one hand, was jailed in Britain for seven years in 2007 for inciting followers to murder non-believers, and is fighting extradition to the United States – but will now retain his British citizenship until someone agrees to take him off our hands.

A government spokesperson explained, “We’ve been told that we can’t leave him ‘stateless’ by taking away his passport, so we’re going to need to find him a new home.  We’ve placed a few ads and we’re quietly hopeful.”

“I want to make something clear to interested parties, it’s not that we don’t want him, it’s just that we have more than enough radicalised Muslims already, and so we can’t give him the care and attention he obviously needs.”

“He’s house trained, and does this hilarious thing where he tried to scratch his nose with the wrong hand.  It really is very funny, if you don’t mind all the blood and that.”

“We’re perfectly happy to give Abu away for free, so long as he goes to a good-ish home.  Or maybe even an average one? We’ll listen to offers from the rubbish ones too, to be honest.  Remember, he has a lot to offer in the right environment.”

Abu Hamza Passport appeal

Adverts looking for a new home for Abu Hamza have already appeared in corner shop windows around the world, along with a freephone number to the British Foreign Office.

A Foreign Office spokesperson said, “We had an interesting call from Yemen this morning, it seems they have a few radicalised Muslims already, and are keen to add him to their growing litter.”

“They wanted to know if he’d had all of his jabs, and how old he is in Radicalised Muslim years – we think he’s a hundred and thirty five, but we can’t be sure.”

“They’re going to give him the once over, and so long as he doesn’t bite I’m sure he’ll be theirs by Monday.”

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