Wednesday 3 November 2010

Fox News successfully convinces morons to vote for idiots


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Fox News is celebrating victory in the US mid-term elections after successfully convincing the nation’s morons to vote for a bunch of  teapot-wielding right-wing idiots.

Right wing Republicans have taken control of the House of Representatives after months of screaming at viewers that universal health care was designed by the devil and that the global economic crisis was caused by a black man who sounds a bit Muslim and probably isn’t even American,

The move is seen as a victory for those who believe the screeching voice of an ageing lunatic coming from the picture box in the corner of your trailer is the most potent political weapon in the world today.

Tea Party supporter Dwight Williamson told us, “It’s about time this country took charge of the things that I’m continually told should scare me shitless.”

“Did you know Obama is offering free White House weddings to lesbians, but only if they bring their own weed? Did you? Nor did I until Fox news screamed it at me incessantly for the last three months.”

“His health care bill is threatening the livelihood of thousands of medical insurance executives, who have been the backbone of this country’s ability to renege on seemingly watertight contracts for the best part of a century.”

“This is what Jesus would have wanted.  He’s a registered Republican you know.”

US Mid-Term Elections

With control of the House of Representatives, right-wing Republicans have already begun practising their ‘fuck you’ face which will meet each and every piece of legislation the White House puts in front of them for the next two years.

President Obama called this a time for ‘compromise, and a time to find common ground’ to which Republicans glared at him before screaming, “Fuck you!”

Fox News owners Rupert Murdoch was asked for comment, but was unable to stop cackling long enough to give us a few words from his underground lair.

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