Monday 1 November 2010 By Spacey

You’re never more than 10ft away from a ginger, claims Harman


Deputy Labour leader Harriet Harman has sent shockwaves through the UK by claiming that no matter where you are, you are never more than ten feet away from a ginger.

Harman, who made the claims after outing Chief Treasury Secretary Danny Alexander as a ginger rodent over the weekend, has called for action to be taken to prevent the country becoming infested with people whose hair colour clashes with everything and who can’t go outside during our four sunny days per annum.

To quell panic among the population, ginger experts have moved swiftly to reassure the public that there’s nothing to be alarmed about, insisting that gingers are more scared of you than you are of them.

“Gingers will only attack if they feel that they are cornered, either physically or politically.” insisted pest control expert Alan Goodright.

“They are also relatively easy to catch, you just need to set your trap with a tube of factor 50 sun-cream.”

Ginger rodent

Pro-ginger campaigners have condemned Harman’s comments as “scaremongering” and insisted that gingers are misunderstood, with a valuable part to play in society.

“Despite what people may think gingers are intelligent, agile, inquisitive and friendly.” revealed campaigner Gemma Frampton.

“There are many gingers who are admired by the public, such as Chris Eva……..Mick Huckn…..Sarah Fergus……well, okay, let’s just agree that they’re clean and they don’t carry disease.”

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