Tuesday 26 October 2010 By Spacey

Firefighters to strike on the one day they actually do some work


London firefighters, who spend 364 days of the year playing table tennis and eating pasta bake, have announced that they intend to strike on the one day of the year that involves them actually doing the job they’re paid to do.

The Fire Brigades’ Union (FBU) defended the proposed strike action, starting on bonfire night, with a spokesperson insisting “The long-term safety of the public depends on a well-trained, self-confident firefighting force.”

“But how would you even know we were striking unless we did it on the one night of the year when the public is actively encouraged to set fire to stuff?”

“Plus bonfire night clashes with the London Firefighters Table Tennis Championships, and whoever wins is through to the nationals.”

Firefighters’ Strike

The public have voiced concerns over the strike action, with some calling for firefighters to move the strikes to a less dangerous time of year.

“Bonfire night is the one time of the year that there is guaranteed to be fires all over the place, unless everyone buys their fireworks from Tesco of course,” said concerned mother of two Karen Webb.

“You hardly see firefighters the rest of the year round. The last time I saw some firefighters really up against it was when Hugh Fearnley-Whitingstall was trying to show them how to make an edible meat-free curry on Channel 4.”

Pensioner Harry Morris was in full agreement, and said he would not be supporting the strike action, claiming that firefighters were putting lives at risk.

“I can’t remember the last time I saw a firefighter actually fighting a fire. I did see a few firemen in Asda the other week, and I thought something might be going on.”

“But it turned out they were just stocking up on a selection of differently-shaped pasta and a family bag of ping pong balls.”

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