Monday 25 October 2010

Cameron to start wearing red nose in attempt to move debate away from cuts


David Cameron is to try and move the debate away from the swingeing cuts made last week during the comprehensive spending review, by wearing a red nose everywhere he goes.

The move is seen as the first sign of desperation on the part of the government to try and stop people calling them despicable shits every second of every single day.

A party insider said, “We saw it on a Derren Brown programme, I think he called it misdirection.  We do something interesting over here, and you don’t see that we’re throwing you out of your house over there.”

“David is going to start with the nose, but if that doesn’t work and people are still just interested in all the money and services we’re taking off them, he’ll maybe move on to include a brightly coloured afro wig.”

Spending review

Critics are already calling the red nose a ‘stunt’ – at least that’s what we think they shouted – claiming it shows the level of anger the government is facing over what are seen as draconian spending cuts across the board.

As one political commentator explained, “This is a genuine political debate, just because he wants to change the subject doesn’t mean we have… my God, did you see the size of his shoes?  They’re like big red flippers!”

The first public outing of the red nose is due to be at a CBI speech delivered by the prime minister later today, though he will not be accompanied by his Chancellor who is so far refusing to wear the Power Rangers outfit provided for him.

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