Friday 22 October 2010 By Spacey

We’ll get to the cancer stuff, check out this leopard’s spots, urge scientists


Researchers have rocked the scientific world to its core by revealing after a long, arduous, and expensive study that a leopard’s spots and a tiger’s stripes are a camouflage closely tied to their habitats.

The extraordinary findings, which no-one would have ever guessed, have caused power surges as the world’s population huddle around the nearest available television set to receive updates of the findings.

“It’s incredible,” gushed one gentlemen, pausing briefly to cough some blood into a handkerchief.

“I’d always assumed that leopards and tigers had their markings so that we could tell them apart, but it seems I was wrong and it’s something to do with, err, I think the word was evolution or something.”

Evolution

Further revelations that are set to turn the scientific world upside down are that giraffes have long necks so that they can reach leaves on tall trees and that dogs stare at you when your eating because they want some of your food.

“These findings are amazing,” said William Allen from the University of Bristol, the lead author of the study.

“I think soon we might be able to reveal that the universe has existed for billions of years and wasn’t created 11,000 years ago by a big man with a beard who lives in the clouds.”

“Yes, we really did get funding for this, why do you ask?”

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