Wednesday 20 October 2010

Italians unable to halt Benitez’s continuing descent into madness


Despite moving to be close to Italy’s leading pyschiatrists, Inter Milan manager Rafa Benitez has escaped his carers long enough to compare the previous Liverpool owners to a bottle of milk.

Speaking to reporters ahead of his team’s Champion’s League match against Tottenham Hotspur whilst wearing a tea-cosie as a hat, Benitez was asked about the recent change of ownership at his former club.

He told the clearly baffled press-room, “Tom Hicks was like a pint of milk, he would just sit there in a glass bottle slowly going off in the sun.”

“George Gillette was also like a bottle of milk, as he’d leave me with a white moustache after I put him in my mouth.”

“No, it’s definitely a proper Spanish saying.  Just like ‘you can’t knit an angry donkey’ and ‘a watched watch never watches other watches’.

Rafa Benitez bottle of milk

Benitez went on to criticise the changes the previous owners made at the club in the run up to his departure.

“They changed everything.  The got rid of the giant shark tank I had installed in the boot room and said that my policy of ‘dress like a clown on match days’ was inappropriate for the first team squad.”

“I think the final straw was swapping a lunatic manager for one with early on-set dementia. It’s clearly the work of a milk bottle – why can’t you all see that?”

“I see milk bottles. Everywhere.” He concluded.

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